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TEEN TALK ARCHIVES Past editions of Teen Talk Karen A nineteen year old shares her thoughts... "Not only are we acting older by smoking, but we are also dealing with stress. When I think about smoking, the first thing I think of is stress. And I think that young people today are faced with tremendous amounts of stress.
We need to find different ways of having outlets for our stress that are healthy and fun. I don't smoke, partly because I am allergic to smoke. I do have friends that smoke and all of them wish they had never started. They have all tried to stop and can't.
They'll make it about a month and I'll be so excited for them. And then the next time I see them, they're smoking again. And I'll say, 'Oh I thought you stopped." And it is always, 'Well, I did but this paper came up and I started again and haven't stopped.'
Being on a college campus, I have seen lots of promiscuity throughout. Tons of people. Pretty much when I think of my peers versus my life or what I think, I do often disagree with them. If I can I try to find out where these decisions are coming from.
The first thing I try to do is think what my life has been like compared with theirs. And when I see people making wrong decisions, I usually think they're doing that because they're searching for something they haven't had. Having sex early in life, I would think they're searching for love somewhere that they haven't gotten it. And me, I just can't understand it because I grew up extremely loved and had a great family life."
Grace's Story The sixteen-year-old struggled as the story unfolded. It was painful to rehearse what she had experienced. Yet, out of the tale of betrayal and suffering, courage and strength emerged. Here was a strong, recovering teen. She revealed how her mother, the legal system, and other adults have not supported her. Her fight back from the loss of self-respect and the resulting substance abuse has been difficult. Grace looks down at her hands. She sighs and continues, "It is a struggle everyday to be straight." She smiles. "I have been clean for one year. Last week we had a celebration of my one-year of being free. My counselor came from the rehab center. He brought along a girl who had only been clean for one week. I could tell that she was looking at me and thinking that maybe she too could be clean. My example gave her hope." I asked her about the pain of telling her story, of re-living all the abuse again. "I have to tell my story. That is the only way I can overcome it and control my life."
Try, Try Again Clare, now a seventeen year old, shares her story. "The transition from middle school to high school was hard for me. I wasn't very mature. I just couldn't handle the freedom. I ended up spending most of my time partying and being distracted." "At the first grading period, I was tanking out on all of my key courses. I could see my future college career melting away." "I took my report card to my mother. I was crying. She said, 'What does this mean?' "It means that I screwed up. I blew away my future. I partied instead of studying. I was stupid." My mother said, "No, Clare, it means that you are just being 15. You are permitted to make dumb mistakes when you are 15." "Then my dad came in. I was really scared. My dad and I weren't getting along with each other. He was always mad at me." "He looked at my report card. He said, 'I am not mad at you. I am disappointed. I know that you can do better.' "I was so relieved! He wasn't mad. My parents were so cool! I went back with a different attitude. It took awhile, but I ended up on the honor roll." Will's Will (11/18/99)
He slowly shook his head. The sun caught the sparkle of his earring.
"I really screwed up high school."
Yes. Will did let drugs, boredom, and a brief gang experience ruin his high school career.
"I got kicked out. Then my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant. She was just playing with my head, but I was scared."
It looked bad for this teenager. He is also a person of color in a dominantly white community.
But somehow he found clarity. It was hard at first. He started the GED course twice before he found the internal focus to finish-- and pass!
He smiled and told me that he would soon leave for another state and work in an art school program.
"I am getting a second chance for a new life."
"Will, how is it that you are able to move on and re-invent your life?"
"Well, I realized that you can't move on until you forgive yourself for past mistakes."
"That's pretty profound."
"I guess I have to admit that I got that from what my mother is always saying. She never gave up on me."
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